I haven’t received my writing back yet, but went ahead and presented it here. Just know that it is a rough draft.
Let it All Hang Out
By: Michael Matthew Mercer
“Let it All Hang Out” I shouted in a snarling voice from the end of the bench. “Let it All Hang Out” repeated my friend Clay. We weren’t talking about our bravado or having a pumped up cheer that day in the locker room. No, that would be classy, manly, and acceptable. We were shouting, “Let it All Hang Out” because we found an easy target and our middle school adolescence full of hormonal impulses just couldn’t resist. The target was a boy one year younger whom I’ll call Shane.
Shane had done nothing to us. In fact I can’t remember Shane saying more than “excuse me” or “thank you.” Yet Shane exuded sheepish social immobility. Shane was overweight, pale skinned, shaggy straight oily hair, and avoided eye contact. He walked, well waddled, with head down and at turtle pace. His clothes never fit and his eyes were drained of passion and life had driven him down. Yet, here he was in our athletic locker room taking off his football pads and putting on his baggy pants and tight shirt so that he could walk home from practice.
There was no mercy from Clay and I however. As soon as we saw him in just his skivvies, we took all attention off our own imperfect bodies and drew it to him with a phrase that still rings in my ears today, “Let it All Hang Out.” Doing what we could to defend ourselves from being ridiculed we shouted louder and louder at intermittent times every day for an entire season when we got dressed for practice and redressed to go home. There’s no tactful or easy way to say it, we wanted to pick on the “fat kid.”
It embarrasses me today to think how awful I was. My soul longs for forgiveness for this one phrase and continuous historical moment. I want to see Shane and beg and plead for forgiveness. My experience of prejudice and ridicule from being a child of divorce taught me nothing. I hurt others because I was hurt. However, there are no excuses. I was prejudice against Shane and in my shouting the phrase: “Let it All Hang Out” I did just that. I hung out everything I truly was. My Christian witness destroyed I became a bully and of the most cowardly kind.
The good news is that even though I may never meet up again with Shane. Even though I may never get the chance to fall on my knees and beg and plead for forgiveness. There is God and His grace. God’s grace not only forgives me of my terrible behavior and sin. But God’s grace intervenes and bestows grace on behalf of Shane. This isn’t so I can let go of this haunting memory and feel restored. This is because the Kingdom of God is that big, that mighty, that powerful, and that awesome. Grace isn’t given because I am desperate for forgiveness. Grace is given because Jesus died for sin once and for all. Jesus died for poor kids. Jesus died for dirty kids. Jesus died for low-esteemed kids. Jesus died for pale-skinned kids. Jesus died for FAT kids! Jesus died for those who show prejudice. Jesus died for bullies. And Yes, Jesus died for kids who shouted from the end of the bench, “Let it All Hang Out.” Because that’s exactly what He did, He “Let it All Hang Out!”
May we all be convicted of our prejudice and turn to God for his loving grace! -Mercer
